QUEER EYE FOR THE HATE GUY

"Ex-USMC Jock: Available for hourly, overnight, weekend or longer travel - OUT ONLY!"
Jeff Gannon profile on Studfiles.com

"I can literally remember what he was wearing: an Air National Guard flight jacket, cowboy boots...He was exuding more charisma than any one individual should be allowed to have."
Karl Rove profile in The New Yorker Magazine*

Let me get this straight (hur, hur) - I am no homophobe. But like many non-homosexuals, I throw around words like 'homo' and 'fruity' on my Web site for immature comedy effect because I, like everybody else, enjoy to joke about people who are different to myself. But my honest opinion is this: I have absolutely no problems with homosexuality (unless the homosexual in question happens to be a 250-pound psychotic with impulse control issues who is sharing my cell because I am just that damn sexy). I'm in agreement with whoever the hell said: "It doesn't make any difference what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and frighten the horses." Same goes for fat chicks as well.

What I do hate however, and with an embolism inducing fury, is hypocrisy of all forms. I hate the dumb bastard Log Cabin Republicans, for example, not because they bat for the other team, but because of the stupefying hypocrisy they embody. Like chickens campaigning for KFC, they are working for a party that openly despises their lifestyle to an almost fanatical degree and is doing all it can do to prohibit gayness for folks of all political persuasions. And now it appears the President, whose attitudes to same-sex relations came over in the baggage of the Puritans, is benefiting from the self same guys whose very existence is anathema to him. So now let us ponder the implications of the Jeff Gannon case.

How did a gay prostitute with no tangible journalistic credentials, manage to circumvent Secret Service vetting procedures and join in with the White House press corps? How did our himbo end up asking those 'how great thou art' questions to a flattered GW on C-SPAM? If no lies, obfuscation, or chicanery were involved, Jeff's introduction to White House security would have sounded a little like this: "Hi. My name's Geoff Gannon, or is it Jeff Gannon? Or is it James Dale Guckert? Or is it Bulldog? I'm a male prostitute, homosexual pornographer, and fake journalist. Could I please play with the press corps?" This does not seem a particularly viable theory. So one is forced to conclude instead that a friendly (perhaps in the biblical sense) government insider, with the power to bypass security procedures, must have placed Jeff. And that he was placed there in order to spread around a little naïf - but invaluable - propaganda for the benefit of the GOP.

We now know all the dirty little secrets about Gannon's Internet presence on TalonNews.com, the site that claims to be "your source for unbiased news coverage and no-spin reporting." (Talon News currently sports pictures of Ronald Reagan, Ann Coulter, and a Confederate flag on its home page to demonstrate its clear lack of bias.) We also know of his dedicated work for Studfiles.com and Workingboys.net, so the question only remains: through which of these Web sites did Bulldog's White House buddy first make his acquaintance? Step forward CBS - now recuperated from their sound drubbing following last year's George Bush AWOL fact checking embarrassment - which is starting to say stuff like: "But it is the more routine part of Gannon's life that deserves serious scrutiny. Planting or even just sanctioning a political operative in the WH press room is a dangerous precedent." Story

CBS says that Rove is the guy behind (snicker) Gannon. This assertion is based on Gannon's own statement that he met Herr Rove at a White House Christmas party once. CBS also says that "Rove and the ex-Talon News reporter have likely crossed paths on other occasions." And it seems that both Herr Rove and boy Gannon are graduates of The Leadership Institute, a kind of al-Qaeda training camp for Republican Activists who like to play dirty. Do we really need any more evidence on which to launch a good scandal?

Again, I am no homophobe. But I would wager a goodly sum that all of the Christian Coalition fuckwits that sustain the Bush operation most certainly are. And if Rove was able to harness these dumb opinions and prejudices to the GOP's advantage, how about the other side trying to use the power of grassroots bigotry for good? Talk about poetic justice! Maybe a good old-fashioned gay whores and sleaze scandal will finally rid us of GW's malignant presence. Go CBS, go impeachment..!

Bulldog Gannon in Fried Wire News

'The Controller' (Karl Rove's 2003 New Yorker profile)

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