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SADDAM
TO MAKE COMEBACK?
July
17, 2005 (BAGHDAD, Iraq)
Many
ordinary Iraqis remain suspicious that the failure to bring
Saddam to justice leaves open the possibility that the insurgency
will win, and that his regime will be restored. "There
are a lot of people who think Saddam will come back," said
Ali Kadhim, who runs the Teeba Supermarket in Baghdad's Saidiyah
district and who said he was eager to see the trial begin.
One of his customers, overhearing the conversation, insisted
that life for ordinary Iraqis was better under Hussein's
rule.
"I wish that Saddam would come back," said Omar Qassim, a cell phone
company employee, who was shopping for groceries in the store. "Under Saddam
we only saw car bombs on the television. "I have no love for Saddam, but
there are people in charge now who are worse than Saddam, and we have no security
and no services," he added.
Kadhim conceded that he had a point about the electricity. "I don't want
Saddam to come back, but frankly, the services under Saddam were great," he
said. (Chicago Tribune)

THE
LITTLE LEAGUE ENFORCER TAKES NO PRISONERS
July
15, 2005 (PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania)
A
T-ball coach allegedly paid one of his players $25 to hurt
an 8-year-old mentally disabled teammate so he wouldn't have
to put the boy in the game, police said Friday. Mark R. Downs
Jr., 27, of Dunbar, is accused of offering one of his players
the money to hit the boy in the head with a baseball, police
said. Witnesses told police Downs didn't want the boy to
play in the game because of his disability. The boy was hit
in the head and in the groin with a baseball just before
a game, and did not play. "The coach was very competitive," state
police Trooper Thomas B. Broadwater said. "He wanted
to win." (Associated Press)

GOVERNOR
QUITS MUSCLE MAG MOONLIGHTING
July
15, 2005 (SACRAMENTO, California)
Gov.
Arnold Schwarzenegger announced Friday he was quitting his
job as the executive editor of two body building magazines
amid a storm of criticism about his lucrative moonlighting.
Schwarzenegger said he will relinquish his title as executive
editor of Muscle & Fitness and Flex magazines and give
up the multimillion dollar salary that went with it. (San
Francisco Chronicle) [See? That was easy. Now, if we could
just get Rove to come clean about that spying thing...] Previous
story

FOX
FEAR MACHINE AT FULL THROTTLE
July
15, 2005 (FREAKIN' ANYWHERE)
In
a terrifying, but totally uninformative online item, F(oxymoron)
News seeks to whip up public paranoia into a froth with counterterrorism
expert Juval Aviv:
"I predict, based primarily on information that is floating in Europe and
the Middle East, that an event is imminent and around the corner here in the
United States. It could happen as soon as tomorrow, or it could happen in the
next few months... If your gut feeling tells you when you walk onto a bus there
is something unusual or suspicious, get out and walk away. You may do it 10 times
for no reason, but there will be one time that saves your life. Let your sixth
sense direct you." (FoxNews.com)

INTERROGATORS
GONE WILD
July 14, 2005 (CLUB MED GUANTANAMO, Cuba)
Military
report cites humiliation of U.S. prisoners
The report said Mohamed al-Qahtani--labeled by U.S. officials as the "20th
hijacker"--was forced to stand naked before a woman interrogator for at
least five minutes and was made to wear thong underwear on his head and a bra.
Qahtani also was told by interrogators that "his mother and sister were
whores," according to the report, and he was led by a dog leash attached
to his hand chains and made to do a "series of dog tricks" as part
of the interrogation. (ChicagoTribune.com)
Really, how kinky are the interrogators they are training these days?

SPECIAL
INTERESTS/SPECIAL ED
July 13, 2005 (SACRAMENTO, California)
With
a bill pending, Schwarzenegger backs the dietary supplement
industry.
Deepening his personal involvement in an industry that has business pending
at the Capitol, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger earlier this year helped dietary
supplement companies launch a lobbying group.
An article in the August 2005 edition of Muscle & Fitness magazine, for
which Schwarzenegger serves as executive editor, recounts his attendance at
a March 15 meeting at which the lobbying group formed and says the governor
remains "a phone call away" from the organization. (Sacramento
Bee)
[So like a true Republican debutante, Schw... (I can't even be bothered to
type his stupid long-ass name) publicly blossoms into a fully fledged hypocrite.
Isn't that sweet?]

NATIONAL
GUARD CRITICIZED FOR ANTI-ISLAM POSTER
July 12, 2005 (SACRAMENTO, California)
Islamic
leaders and peace groups are criticizing the California National
Guard for a flier posted in its headquarters suggesting the
United States should execute Islamic terrorists with bullets
dipped in pig's blood to deny them entry to heaven.
The poster attributes the practice to World War I General John J. Pershing. "Maybe
it is time for this segment of history to repeat itself, maybe in Iraq?" the
flier stated. It was posted outside a cubicle in the Guard's Civil Support
Division.
A second flier showed the wings and tail of a bomber forming a peace sign with
the slogan, "Peace the old fashioned way." (San Francisco Chronicle)

PUTTING
THE 'CUNT' IN 'THE GAMES DO COUNT'
July 11, 2005 (FOX NEWS, Disgrace)

The following exchange between F(oxymoron) News host Brian
Kilmeade and F(oxymoron) News business contributor and substitute host Stuart
Varney occurred during breaking news coverage of the attacks on London
subways and buses on the July 7 edition of Fox News' Fox & Friends:
KILMEADE:
And that was the first time since 9-11 when they should
know, and they do know now, that terrorism should be Number
1. But it's important for them all to be together. I think
that works to our advantage, in the Western world's advantage,
for people to experience something like this together,
just 500 miles from where the attacks have happened.
VARNEY: It puts the Number 1 issue right back on the front burner right at
the point where all these world leaders are meeting. It takes global warming
off the front burner. It takes African aid off the front burner. It sticks
terrorism and the fight on the war on terror, right up front all over again.
KILMEADE: Yeah.
I
implore you to visit this compassion-challenged shit's
guestbook (at BrianKilmeade.com) and ask him when he's
planning on getting root canal of the mind for the giant
pus-filled abscess of unfathomable bitterness that is clearly
impeding his thought process. Utter cunt uttering utter
shit. Utterly...

JUST
ANOTHER DAY IN GEORGE ORWELL LAND
July 11, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
In
the light of the recent Rove related revelations, it seems
suitably pathetic that America's press corps castrati should
be pre-occupied with Slurpees. Yahoo!'s most emailed story
today was about the birthday of the frozen chemical sludge
drink:
"Long before smoothies and Frappuccinos there was the Slurpee. The slushy,
colorful 7-Eleven brand - and American icon - turns 40 today and is still popular
for the same reasons it caught on back then: fun, variety, "brain freeze" and
colored tongues." (Slurpee celebrates 40 years of 'brain freeze' (USATODAY.com)
But at the same time, ball-buds were beginning to appear on some White House
press reporters. One guy was even making Scott McLellan, Bush's pet sweaty
thug, work for a living today:
QUESTION:
Does the president continue to have confidence in Mr.
Rove?
MCCLELLAN: Again, these are all questions coming up in the context of an
ongoing criminal investigation. And you've heard my response on this.
QUESTION: So you're not going to respond as to whether or not the president
has confidence in his deputy chief of staff?
MCCLELLAN: You're asking this question in the context of an ongoing investigation,
and I would not read anything into it other then I'm simply going to comment
on an ongoing investigation.
QUESTION: Has there been any change, or is there a plan for Mr. Rove's
portfolio to be altered in any way?
MCCLELLAN: Again, you have my response to these questions.
(complete
transcript at rawstory.com)
So
what's the bigger story? Is it product publicity for Slurpee
or is it the fact that Bush's top advisor may well be guilty
of treason while the country is at war? We report, you decide.

TRUTH
AT LAST?
July 10, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
Karl
Rove, President George W. Bush's top political adviser,
was the secret source who gave a Time magazine reporter
permission to testify last week, thus avoiding jail for
contempt of court, Newsweek reported on Sunday. Mr Rove
has been the subject of growing speculation as two journalists
faced prison for failing to reveal their sources to a federal
prosecutor investigating the leak of the identity of Valerie
Plame, an undercover CIA officer.
Last week Judith Miller of the New York Times was jailed after she refused
to testify before a grand jury about her source. Matt Cooper, of Time magazine,
had expected to keep his source a secret as well. But in dramatic fashion,
just as he was about to persist in maintaining his silence, he said he received
permission from his source to testify in court.
Mr Cooper has refused to identify his source publicly. But in this week's
edition Newsweek said Mr Rove's attorney had confirmed that Mr Rove had discussed
Joseph Wilson, a former ambassador who is married to Ms Plame, with Mr Cooper
and that he gave Mr Cooper permission to testify. It is illegal to reveal
knowingly the identity of an undercover officer, and the prosecutor has been
searching for the source of the leak who revealed Ms Plame's identity, which
was first reported by Robert Novak. (Financial
Times)
[Of course, Rove will almost certainly avoid Federal Ass-pounding prison
- even if proven to be a traitor - but it should, at least, put Bush short
of one invaluable asset and one scandal closer to impeachment.]
"I
have nothing but contempt and anger for those who betray
the trust by exposing the name of our sources. They are,
in my view, the most insidious of traitors."
Poppy Bush, 1999

KARL
ROVE, FAIRY QUEEN OF THE GOP
July
7, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
Bush
Family retainer and Republican dirty trickster Karl Rove,
under grand jury investigation for leaking the fact that
Ambassador Joseph Wilson's wife Valerie Plame is a covert
CIA operative, may face a stiff prison term, since "outing" an
agent like Plame is a federal crime. Rove, allegedly a
closet homosexual like other top leaders of the Republican
Party, including RNC chairman Ken Mehlman and Republican
apparatchiks Ralph Reed and Gary Bauer, may be preparing
himself for the eventuality of prison, writes Al Martin,
author of "The Conspirators: Secrets of an Iran Contra
Insider."
"We have an update on Karl Rove, the Fairy Queen of the Gay Old Party. That's
G.O.P. to the unenlightened," writes Martin in his column "Asset Protection:
A Timely Update." (7-4-05) "The speculation is the grand jury will
finger Karl as the leaker with regards to the Valerie Plame CIA situation. Then
he's going to put Bob Novak right in the frame." (conspiracyplanet.com)

WORST
PRESIDENT EVER TRAILBLAZES NEW DEPTHS
June
24, 2005 (ISTANBUL, Turkey)
"An
international public opinion poll indicates the reputation
and image of the US has deteriorated since the occupation
of Iraq and that citizens of several countries now view
China in a more positive light.
According to the results of the survey, 65 percent of British people have
positive opinions of China as only 55 percent view the US positively. The
survey shows that 58 percent of French people have a positive perspective
on China, but only 43 percent have the same attitude towards the US. These
findings are repeated in Spain and The Netherlands it is noted in the poll.
Seventy-six percent of Spaniards think that US President George W. Bush is
the main reason for anti-Americanism as do 65 percent of Germans and 63 percent
of French. The US's reputation is also at its lowest level in its three Muslim
ally countries, Turkey, Pakistan, and Jordan. Only one fifth of those participating
in the public opinion poll in these countries have positive opinions about
the US. Support for the US-led war on terror." (Zaman
online)
"We
don't want an America that is closed to the world.
What we want is a world that is open to America."
George H. W. Bush (good job on that, Chimpy)

KARL
ROVE TALKS SMACK
June
22, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
"Let
me put this in fairly simple terms: Al Jazeera now broadcasts
to the region the words of Senator Durbin, certainly putting
America's men and women in uniform in greater danger. No
more needs to be said about the motives of liberals." (Washington
Post)
As
a non-moron I had to laugh at the brass balls of Herr Rove
to crack this soundbite. Then I remembered his people are
actually responsible for the deaths of over 1,700 US troops
so far. Now it doesn't seem as funny somehow.

TYRANTS
IN UNDERPANTS: NEW FOX REALITY SHOW?
June
21, 2005 (BAGHDAD, Iraq)
 |
|
Following
the Saddam underpants leak last week (the leak being
that of this candid snaphot to the Sun in London)
the one-time murderous madman and friend of Reagan
is in the news again. This from the London Times:
SADDAM HUSSEIN likes corn chips, ping-pong and Ronald Reagan, and dreams
of making a comeback in Iraq, even though he is reduced to washing
his underpants in his prison sink, his American guards revealed yesterday...[He]
insisted on having his drinks at room temperature and guzzled family-size
bags of Doritos nacho chips. He liked Raisin Bran Crunch cereal, but
implored his captors “No Froot Loops!” http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,7374-1662640,00.html |
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