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DELAY
ACCUSED OF CRIMINAL CONSPIRACY (AGAIN)
September
28, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
House
Majority Leader Tom DeLay was indicted
by a Texas grand jury (PDF) Wednesday on a charge
of conspiring to violate political fundraising laws,
forcing him to temporarily step aside from his GOP post.
He is the highest-ranking member of Congress ever to
face criminal prosecution. Criminal conspiracy is a Texas
felony punishable by six months to two years in a state
jail and a fine of up to $10,000. (Yahoonews.com)
DeLay's
involvement in a fraudulent scheme to launder money for
the Texas Republicans is a serious charge and should
be a major embarrassment for the seemingly unembarrassable
Bush government. But DeLay and his supporters, men of
honor that they are, are not fessing up, shutting up
or stepping down. Instead, they are portraying the Grease
Meister as yet another oppressed target of the liberal
activist player-haters:
Tom
Delay is a Man and Ronnie Earle is a Dog
"Another story I heard was that Ronnie
Earle went to a Democratic fund raiser and drew applause
when he told them he was going to go after Tom Delay
[sic]. If these allegations are true they suggest that
Earle has abandoned all pretense of impartiality. It
suggest [sic] that this prosecutor has abandoned the
first obligation of a prosecutor, to seek justice; and
that he is selectively and vindictively prosecuting this
case against Tom Delay, predicated on the fact that he
is a Republican. This is no less repugnant and un-American
than pursuing a case against a person simply because
he is black or Jewish." (Conservativevoice.com)
So
it would seem that the prosecutor is just another one
of those activists. Just like those anti-criminal prosecutors
who 'vindictively' prosecute child molesters because
they don't like pedophiles, or those who 'abandon all
pretense of impartiality' and victimize murderers for
killing people. So what to believe? Facts would seem
to differ cuntservative 'reality.' Those damn' activist
facts:
Grand
jury foreman cites "stacks" of evidence
against DeLay
Grand jurors were presented a load of evidence, including testimony
and phone records, that led them to believe Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Texas,
should be tried on a conspiracy charge, the leader of the Travis County
grand jury that indicted the congressman said yesterday. DeLay, who
stepped down as House majority leader when the indictment was issued
Wednesday.
[DeLay's] lawyers maintain he knew nothing about the money exchange
at the time it happened and the indictment is a political vendetta
against him. But in the first public acknowledgments of what evidence
against DeLay might exist, Gibson, 76, a former sheriff's deputy and
state insurance investigator, said there were ample indications of
the congressman's involvement. (Seattle
Times)

GAY
PENGUIN GOES STRAIGHT – 700 CLUB REJOICES
September
27, 2005 (NEW YORK, New York)
Zookeepers
at the Central Park Zoo in New York are scratching their
heads after the animal kingdom's most beloved gay couple,
the penguins Silo and Roy, has split up. To make the
case even more obscure, Silo decided to pull an Anne
Heche and hook up with a member of the opposite sex instead. "Silo
and Roy stopped spending as much time together or building
a nest," John Rowden, the zoo's head curator, told
The New York Post. Silo promptly moved in with Scrappy,
building a new nest with her. (Bgay.com)

INCOMPETENT
TWAT PASSES BUCK
September
27, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
Former
FEMA director Michael Brown aggressively defended his
role in responding to Hurricane Katrina on Tuesday and
put much of the blame for coordination failures on Louisiana
Gov. Kathleen Blanco and New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin. "My
biggest mistake was not recognizing by Saturday that
Louisiana was dysfunctional," Brown told a special
congressional panel set up by House Republican leaders
to investigate the catastrophe. (Associated Press)

PNAC
NOW A CHARITY
September
26, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
$200
billion in taxes isn't enough? USAID
launches an online venture to solicit donations
from the American public for rebuilding projects in
Iraq.
The nearly $200 billion that American taxpayers have already ponied up
for the war in Iraq -- including $30 billion earmarked specifically for
reconstruction projects (more than $28 billion higher than Team Bush
originally projected) -- is apparently not enough to get the job done.
Now, the brain trust running the U.S. Agency for International Development
(USAID) has come up with a new fundraising plan that asks the American
public to dig a little deeper into their pockets in order to help rebuild
Iraq.
"Note: Due to security concerns, this site does not provide specific information
on project leaders, project locations, and beneficiaries." says the Web
site. In other words, they want your money and you don't get to know where it
goes. So it'll be treated like tax money then?

CLINTON
DISSES POTUS
September
20, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
It
has always been considered bad form for an ex-president
to criticize a sitting president so, therefore, Bill
Clinton has always refrained from going public with his
opinion of Bush. At least until today.
"What
Americans need to understand is that ... every single
day of the year, our government goes into the market
and borrows money from other countries to finance Iraq,
Afghanistan, Katrina, and our tax cuts. We have never
done this before. Never in the history of our republic
have we ever financed a conflict, military conflict,
by borrowing money from somewhere else.
"We depend on Japan, China, the United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia, and Korea
primarily to basically loan us money every day of the year to cover my tax cut
and these conflicts and Katrina. I don't think it makes any sense. I think it's
wrong." (speaking on NBC News) (story)

KOZLOWSKI'S
FUCKED
September
19, 2005 (NEW YORK, New York)
A
New York state judge slapped the convicted former Tyco
CEO with a stiff sentence Monday. Dennis Kozlowski, corporate
thief, could still be in jail when he's 83. Kozlowski
and his associate, former finance chief Mark Swartz,
each were sentenced to 8 1/3 to 25 years for stealing
hundreds of millions of dollars from the company. They
were also ordered to fork over $134 million in restitution
as well.
Tom Dewey, a securities attorney in New York City, expressed little surprise
at the stiff penalties. However, he did say the convictions stand out
in one important way. "This is the first time that high-profile
corporate defendants have been sentenced to state prison," he noted, "which
is a much more difficult place to be doing time" than the federal
prison system. (Associated Press) Especially if you're a weasely, middle-aged
ex-millionaire. How I laughed...

EUCH...
September
13, 2005 (IASI, Romania)
Just
what is it about Romanian women and mobile phones? Back
in April, we reported on the sticky case of 34-year-old
Ruxandra Gardian who attempted to make good her escape
with a phone concealed in her vagina. Unfortunately for
her, quick-thinking cops simply rang the thing and the
game was up. We suggested at the time that turning it
off would have been a good plan, but as several readers
pointed out, that would have then required the PIN to
reactivate the phone. Fair enough, put it on vibrate
then. Forget it, suggested several female readers, for
obvious reasons.
Now Petronela Brandus, 24, has become the latest "body cavity phone
blagger" to have her collar felt after police stopped the suspected
thief as she got off a bus in Iasi. Passengers had apparently seen the
24-year-old lift the device, but cops could find no trace of it. In the
time-honoured fashion, they then rang the number and heard the tell-tale
sound of internal phone action. In this case, however, Brandus had not
gone for the relatively-simple vaginal option, but rather the less convenient
back passage route. (theRegister.co.uk)

MICROSOFT
GO PSYCHO
September
12, 2005 (REDMOND, Washington)
Microsoft
CEO Steve Ballmer vowed to "kill" Google in
an expletitive-laced, chair-throwing tirade when a senior
engineer told him he was leaving the company to go work
for Google, the engineer claimed in court documents made
public on Friday.
In a sworn statement made public Friday, Mark Lucovsky, another Microsoft
senior engineer who left for Google in November 2004, recounted Ballmer's
angry reaction when Lucovsky told Ballmer he was going to work for the
search engine company.
"At some point in the conversation, Mr. Ballmer said: 'Just tell me it's
not Google,'" Lucovosky said in his statement. Lucovosky replied that he
was joining Google. "At that point, Mr. Ballmer picked up a chair and threw
it across the room hitting a table in his office," Lucovosky recounted,
adding that Ballmer then launched into a tirade about Google CEO Eric Schmidt. "I'm
going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again.
I'm going to fucking kill Google." Schmidt previously worked for Sun Microsystems
and was the CEO of Novell. (CNET News.com)

DOCTOR'S
ORDERS
September
10, 2005 (GULFPORT, Mississippi)
The
emergency room physician who told Vice President Dick
Cheney to "go fuck himself" was selling a video
of the incident on eBay, with the price rising to nearly
$700 before it was removed by administrators. On the
removed auction page, physician Ben Marble wrote about
losing his home in Hurricane Katrina and returning to
examine the wreckage on the day that Cheney was in town
talking to the press. Marble approached the outdoor press
conference and took a picture of Cheney before yelling "Go
fuck yourself Mr. Cheney ....Go fuck yourself....Go fuck
yourself...you asshole." (RawStory.com)
(movie)

WORST
PRESIDENT EVER GOOGLED
September
8, 2005 (THE INTERNET)
Enter
the phrase "worst president ever" in Google
and hit enter. Today you will find George W. Bush's official
bio page at Whitehouse.gov appearing first on the list
of 21,800,000 results. Someone out there has spent a
lot of time entering the search phrase and hitting the
whitehouse.gov link many, many times for this to happen.
I say good work, obssessive Bush hater, from one to another.


OPERATION
CAJUN FREEDOM
September
8, 2005 (NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana)
There
is strong evidence that aid was deliberately withheld
by the White House and the Pentagon as part of a strategy
for asserting unfettered military control over the city
of New Orleans. Both hurricane victims and public officials
have given multiple accounts of US authorities actively
turning back aid and blocking rescue attempts in the
days that followed the breaching of the city’s
levees.
Aaron Broussard, president of Jefferson Parish, for example, broke down
in tears Sunday during an appearance on the NBC television program "Meet
the Press," declaring, "Bureaucracy has committed murder here
in the greater New Orleans area." He cited repeated actions by FEMA
that involved the deliberate sabotage of relief efforts. He reported
that FEMA turned back trailer truckloads of water sent by Wal-Mart, claiming
the city didn’t need them. He also said that the Coast Guard’s
offer of fuel urgently needed to power generators was countermanded by
FEMA.
Finally, he said that just a day earlier FEMA agents had come in and "cut
all of our emergency communication lines" without any warning. The
local sheriff, he added, had the lines reconnected and then posted armed
guards to see that they were not cut again. This last, and most sinister,
example is in keeping with the Pentagon’s "information war" doctrine,
which demands the complete control of communications in an area targeted
for invasion and occupation. There were also reports that the Red Cross
was prevented from going into the city and that FEMA refused to allow
the unloading of food, water and medical supplies brought by ships into
New Orleans harbor.
The apparent aim of this organized obstructionist behavior by the agency
that is supposedly charged with coordinating relief was to block any
significant aid until the military could intervene in the city with overwhelming
force. This came on Friday, with military commanders treating New Orleans
as a combat operation. This was the term used by Brig. Gen. Gary Jones,
commander of the Louisiana National Guard’s Joint Task Force, in
an interview with the Army Times. "This place is going to look like
Little Somalia," said General Jones. "We’re going to
go out and take this city back. This will be a combat operation to get
this city under control."
The newspaper clearly got the message, referring in its report to troops
coming in to "fight the insurgency in the city." (Asian
Tribune)

MILF
SENATOR THREATENS TO PUNCH BUSH
September
7, 2005 (NEW YORK, NY)
 |
Senator
Mary Landrieu, the Democrat of Louisiana (whose father
was a mayor of New Orleans), appears to have finally
found her voice after offering only cautious criticism
of the federal relief effort in the hurricane catastrophe
earlier in the week. Today she promised to literally "punch" anyone, "including
the president," who continued to question the local
response to the tragedy, considering the gross federal
misconduct.
Appearing on ABC's "The Week" TV program this morning, Senator
Landrieu still appeared to be smarting from President Bush's comments,
during his national radio address, that state and local bore a fair share
of blame for the slow response. On a copter tour of the area, Landrieu
said that if she heard any more criticism from federal officials, particularly
about the evacuation of New Orleans, she might lose control. (Editor & Publisher)
But it wasn't just Democrats who were pissed. Trent Lott, whose house
went bye-bye during Hurricane Katrina, somehow didn't have the stomach
to join in with the Republican wall of lies:
Mississippi Republican Sen. Trent Lott couldn't help himself. He began
attacking another Republican -- beleaguered FEMA director Michael Brown. "If
he doesn't solve a couple of problems that we've got right now, he ain't
going to be able to hold a job because what I'm going to do to him, ain't
going to be pretty," he says.

YAHOO!
SECRET POLICE
September
7, 2005 (SUNNYVALE, California)
French
media watchdog Reporters Without Borders said yesterday
that information provided by Internet powerhouse Yahoo!
helped Chinese authorities convict and jail writer Shi
Tao, who had penned an e-mail about press restrictions.
Yahoo! and two of its biggest rivals, Google and Microsoft's MSN, previously
have come under attack for censoring online news sites and Web logs,
or blogs, that include content that China's communist government wants
to suppress.
Reporters Without Borders said court papers showed that Yahoo Holdings
(Hong Kong) Ltd. gave Chinese investigators information that helped them
trace a personal Yahoo! e-mail allegedly containing state secrets to
Tao's computer. (Seattle Times)

TRAITOR,
LIAR AND ILLEGAL VOTER?
September
6, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
Citizens
for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) sent
a complaint to Texas State Director of Elections Ann
McGeehan urging an investigation into whether Karl Rove,
violated Texas state law by illegally registering as
a voter in Kerr County, Texas.
Mr. Rove and his wife, Darby, registered to vote in Kerr County in 2003
after they sold their Austin, Texas home. County property records show
that Mr. Rove and his wife have owned two tiny rental cottages in Kerr
County since 1997, the largest of which is only 814 square feet and is
valued by the county at $25,000. In contrast, the Rove's Washington,
D.C. home is valued at over $1.1 million. Local residents have stated
that they have never seen Rove in the area.
"The
possibility that one of President Bush's top advisors,
Karl Rove, has lied about his residence, thereby violating
Texas law, must be investigated," Melanie Sloan, executive
director of CREW said today. "Regardless of Mr. Rove's
position, he is not above the law." Texas law provides
that making a false statement on a voter registration form
is a Class B misdemeanor. (CREW Press Release)
But...
When South Dakotans voted against Sen. Tom Daschle last November, one
of the things that played into that decision was a homestead deduction
he claimed on his home in Washington, D.C. It was the subject of a series
of ads by John Thune for Senate campaign that essentially questioned
his commitment to the state.
The Washington Post now reports that Karl Rove has a similar predicament.
The newspaper reported this past week: "Karl Rove may live in Washington.
But in his heart and for voting purposes, he remains a Texan. Which means
he is not legally entitled to the homestead-deduction and property-tax
cap he’s been getting on his Washington home for the past three
years. (argusleader.com)

KEEPING
SCHTUM TIL KARL TELLS THEM WHAT TO SAY
September
6, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
White
House tells officials not to respond to attacks about
relief efforts
Under the command of President Bush's two senior
political advisers, the White House this weekend rolled
out a plan to contain the political damage from the administration's
response to Hurricane Katrina. Bush...directed administration
officials not to respond to attacks from Democrats on the
relief efforts, and sought to move the blame for the slow
response to Louisiana state officials, according to Republicans
familiar with the White House plan.
The effort is being directed by Bush's chief political adviser, Karl
Rove, and his communications director, Dan Bartlett. It began late last
week after congressional Republicans called White House officials to
register alarm about what they saw as a feeble response by Bush to the
hurricane, according to Republican congressional aides. (New York Times)

REHNQUIST
CROAKS, PAT ROBERTSON SAYS "WATCH OUT, CHAVEZ."
September
4, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
President
George W Bush has pledged to move quickly to appoint
a successor to US Chief Justice William Rehnquist, who
died from cancer on Sunday, aged 80. He praised him for
his "powerful intellect" and "profound
sense of duty." (Associated Press)
Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson asked followers to pray for Supreme
Court openings, widely interpreted as a prayer for the death of sitting
justices. (Seattlepi.com)

BUSH
STAGES FAKE HELP PHOTO OP
September
4, 2005 (NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana)
"Yesterday,
I was hoping President Bush would come away from his
tour of the regional devastation triggered by Hurricane
Katrina with a new understanding for the magnitude of
the suffering and for the abject failures of the current
Federal Emergency Management Agency. Twenty-four hours
later, the President has yet to answer my call for a
cabinet-level official to lead our efforts. Meanwhile,
FEMA, now a shell of what it once was, continues to be
overwhelmed by the task at hand.
"I understand that the U.S. Forest Service had water-tanker aircraft available
to help douse the fires raging on our riverfront, but FEMA has yet to accept
the aid. When Amtrak offered trains to evacuate significant numbers of victims
- far more efficiently than buses - FEMA again dragged its feet. Offers of medicine,
communications equipment and other desperately needed items continue to flow
in, only to be ignored by the agency.
"But perhaps the greatest disappointment stands at the breached 17th Street
levee. Touring this critical site yesterday with the President, I saw what I
believed to be a real and significant effort to get a handle on a major cause
of this catastrophe. Flying over this critical spot again this morning, less
than 24 hours later, it became apparent that yesterday we witnessed a hastily
prepared stage set for a Presidential photo opportunity; and the desperately
needed resources we saw were this morning reduced to a single, lonely piece of
equipment. The good and decent people of southeast Louisiana and the Gulf Coast
- black and white, rich and poor, young and old - deserve far better from their
national government."
—Senator Mary Landrieu, D-La. (bellaciao.org)

DEMOCRACY
NOW?
September
4, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
The
government is withholding more information than ever
from the public and expanding ways of shrouding data.
For each $1 spent declassifying old secrets, federal
agencies last year spent a record $148 creating and storing
new secrets, a coalition of watchdog groups reported
yesterday. Overall, the government spent $7.2 billion
in 2004 stamping 15.6 million documents "top secret," "secret" or "confidential." That
almost doubled the 8.6 million new documents classified
as recently as 2001.
J. William Leonard, director of the National Archives' Information Security
Oversight Office, which monitors classification, said, "the great
lesson of 9/11 is that improper hoarding of information can cost lives
and harm national security. Such unchecked secrecy threatens accountability
in government."
"The volume and impact of these pseudo-classifications is growing," and
they inhibit the "free flow of critical information." said Rep. Christopher
Shays, Connecticut Republican and chairman of the House national security subcommittee.
(Associated Press)

THE
FAIRY QUEEN FLIES BY
September
2, 2005 (CRAWFORD, Texas)
 |
Bush
Administration Senior Political Advisor and Deputy Chief
of Staff, Karl Rove made a surprise sunset visit to the
half-dozen or so Bush supporters camped across the street
from "Camp Casey" in Crawford, Texas.
Rove did not meet with any of the dozens of Iraq and Afghan war vets,
nor the Gold Star Family members present in Crawford to support Sheehan.
Bush's top political advisor completed his quick early evening photo-op,
after which several "Bush Supporters" who reportedly were present
especially for the occasion, promptly got in their vehicles and left
the Bush side of the street according to one of the volunteer security
guards who was standing watch at the Sheehan camp.
Will Marean, a blogger and right-wing activist who spent several nights
camping with Bush supporters across the street from Sheehan's camp, said, "We
were all happy -- we were literally giddy -- to meet Karl Rove. And then
he proceeded to say he was glad that we were there and we were happy
to say that we supported our President and supported our troops." (Full
story at bradblog.com)
- Fried
Wire talking points:
-
Did
Karl turn up because he thought 'Camp Casey' was
some kind of gay entertainer?
-
Why
are there only "half-dozen or so" supporters
at the Bush camp?
-
What's
portly comedian Kevin "King of Queens" James
doing helping Rove out of his popemobile?
-
Why
does Rove remind me of that footage of Hitler they
always show on the History Channel giving out medals
to the Hitler Youth during the last days of the
war?
-
Why
don't those unfuckable conservative misfits piss
off and take their useless president with them?
-
I'm
done...

IRAQ:
$191 BILLION
NEW ORLEANS: YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN...
September
1, 2005 (NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana)
On
Wednesday, Mayor Ray Nagin offered the most startling
estimate yet of the magnitude of the Hurricane Katrina
disaster. Asked how many people died in New Orleans,
he said: "Minimum, hundreds. Most likely, thousands." The
death toll has already reached at least 126 in Mississippi.
"This is a national emergency. This is a national disgrace," said Terry
Ebbert, head of the city's emergency operations. "FEMA has been here three
days, yet there is no command and control. We can send massive amounts of aid
to tsunami victims, but we can't bail out the city of New Orleans?"
Elsewhere in the city, an old man in a chaise lounge lay dead in a grassy
median as hungry babies wailed around him. Around the corner, an elderly
woman lay dead in her wheelchair, covered with a blanket, and another
body lay beside her wrapped in a sheet. "I don't treat my dog like
that," 47-year-old Daniel Edwards said as he pointed at the woman
in the wheelchair. "I buried my dog." He added: "You can
do everything for other countries but you can't do nothing for your own
people. You can go overseas with the military but you can't get them
down here?" (Associated Press)
Secretary of State responds to crisis
"Just moments ago at the Ferragamo on 5th Avenue, Condoleeza Rice was seen
spending several thousands of dollars on some nice, new shoes. A fellow shopper,
unable to fathom the absurdity of Rice’s timing, went up to the Secretary
and reportedly shouted, "How dare you shop for shoes while thousands are
dying and homeless!" Never one to have her fashion choices questioned, Rice
had security PHYSICALLY REMOVE the woman. (Gawker.com)

YAHOO!
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE COMPETITION
August
30, 2005 (NEW ORLEANS, Lousiana)
Wednesday's
Yahoo! news picture gallery showed photos of the aftermath
of Hurricane Katrina. The picture
on the left was captioned: "local residents
wade through chest-deep water after finding bread and
soda from a local grocery store." The
second picture (note ethnicity) was captioned: "A
young man walks through chest deep flood water after
looting a grocery store in New Orleans on Tuesday." (news.yahoo.com)
Today the picture on the left was removed by Yahoo! after the bloggers
started talking about the 'clumsy' captioning. Err... How come they remove
the nice picture but still leave the black "looter" up?

"TERRISTS" CATCH
HELL
August
26, 2005 (LA HABRA, California)
The
lives of Randy and Ronnell Vorick and their three children
have been plunged into an unsettling routine of drivers
shouting profanities, stopping to photograph their house
and — most recently — spray-painting a slogan
on their property after it was wrongly identified in
a cable news broadcast as the home of a terrorist.
"I'm scared to go to work and leave my kids home. I call them every 30 minutes
to make sure they're OK," Randy Vorick said. "I keep telling myself
this can't be happening to me. This can't be happening to my family. But it is.
I want our lives to be normal again," he said.
In what Fox News officials concede was a mistake, John Loftus, a former
U.S. prosecutor, gave out the address Aug. 7, saying it was the home
of a Middle Eastern man, Iyad K. Hilal, who was the leader of a terrorist
group with ties to those responsible for the July 7 bombings in London.
Last weekend, someone spray-painted "Terrist" on their home.
Police, who have regularly patrolled their house since the day after
the broadcast, now station a squad car across the street. The Voricks
said they had made several unsuccessful attempts to contact Fox News
and Loftus by telephone and e-mail. They want a public apology and correction.
(LA
Times)

GREAT
CUSTOMER SERVICE STORIES...
August
25, 2005 (CORONA, California)
Sami
Habbas was sifting through his stack of mail when he
noticed a credit-card offer addressed to "Palestinian
bomber". The stunned Palestinian-American, a US
Army veteran, opened the letter, which began, "Dear
Palestinian bomber".
"I thought it was a joke or something," he said. "I'm very sad
- devastated." Habbas, who lives in Corona, California, phoned J P Morgan
Chase and Company, which sent the offer, and two operators addressed him the
same way: "Yes, Mr Bomber, what can we do for you?" (Washington Post)

BUSH
LESS POPULAR THAN NIXON
August
22, 2005 (WASHINGTON, DC)
A
new ARG poll has President Bush below the 40 percent
approval mark at 36. At this point of his second term,
Clinton was at 59 percent. Reagan was at 60 percent.
Nixon at 39. (Associated Press)

CUE
CHOIR: IT'S CHRISTIAN VALUES TIME!
August
22, 2005 (CARACAS, Venezuela)
Venezuela's
vice president accused religious broadcaster Pat Robertson
on Tuesday of making "terrorist statements" by
suggesting that American agents assassinate President
Hugo Chavez.
On Monday, Robertson said on the Christian Broadcast Network's "The
700 Club": "We have the ability to take him out, and I think
the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another
$200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator," he
continued. "It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives
do the job and then get it over with."
Chavez has survived a brief 2002 coup, a devastating two-month strike
that ended in early 2003 and recall referendum in 2004. The former army
paratroop commander, a close ally of Cuban leader Fidel Castro, is up
for re-election next year, and polls suggest he is the favorite. (Associated
Press)

ABOUT
FOUR INCHES I'M GUESSING...
August
21, 2005 (LOS ANGELES, California)
Oscar-winning
actress Jennifer Connelly, who starred in 'A Beautiful
Mind', has revealed that she likes to read or shop online
during sex with her husband Paul Bettany. "I do
like to read a book while having sex and talk on the
phone. You can get so much done."
She added: "If the room's dark enough, I like to do some online
shopping." (Ananova.com)

LOVE
IS IN THE AIR
August
19, 2005 (LOS ANGELES, California)
Diva
Mariah Carey is furious with rapper Eminem for playing
intimate voice messages she left for him to large audiences
during his 'Anger Management' tour. Carey allegedly left
the voice mail for Eminem when he worked with her on
her 2001 'Charmbracelet' album.
The messages feature Mariah saying: "I heard you were getting back
with your ex-wife. Why won't you see me? Why won't you call me? You're
not calling me." After which '8 Mile' star Eminem pretended to vomit
into a prop toilet before going into his song 'Puke' which has lyrics
such as "you make me sick". (iafrica.com)

CUSTOMER
SERVICE - COMCAST STYLE
August
17, 2005 (PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania)
LaChania
Govan said she got bounced around by her cable company
when she called to complain. She made dozens of calls
and was even transferred to a person who spoke Spanish — a
language she doesn't understand. But when she got her
August bill from Comcast she had no trouble understanding
she'd made somebody mad. It was addressed to "Bitch
Dog."
"I was like you got to be freaking kidding me," said Govan, 25. "I
was so mad I couldn't even cuss." Comcast officials said it shouldn't have
happened.
"We only use the actual customers names on the bill," said Patricia
Andrews-Keenan, a Comcast spokeswoman. Company officials went through the records
and identified two people who were involved with the name change and fired them,
Andrews-Keenan said. It's unknown why the employees did it.
In another case, Peoples Energy customer Jefferoy Barnes started getting
letters addressed to "Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes." "I
had no bad words at all. I guess the earliest letter is dated in May
and from then on up until now my name has been listed as Jeffery Scrotum
Bag Barnes and I have no idea why." (Associated Press)

BLESS.
THEY JUST CAN'T HELP IT IN MISSISSIPPI
August
17, 2005 (PHILADELPHIA, Mississippi)
Edgar
Ray Killen, ex recruiter and organizer for the Neshoba
and Lauderdale County Klan, finally got convicted for
his part in the killing of three civil rights workers
(Michael Schwerner, James Chaney and Andrew Goodman)
41 years late this year. But 80-year Killen is now out
on bail pending an appeal, which could take over a year,
after serving only two months of his 60-year sentence.
This is in spite of:
-
Threatening
the life of a black prison guard
-
A
relative threatening to kill the trial court judge
and "other individuals in the court"
-
An
anonymous caller threatening to bomb the court during
his trial
Mississippi's
Attorney General has challenged the judge's decision.
In an emergency petition to the state Supreme Court on
Monday night, Atty. Gen. Jim Hood argued that Killen
remained a violent and dangerous man. But James McIntyre,
Killen's lawyer, said Hood was inappropriately raising
new charges and he expected Killen to remain free until
the Supreme Court reached a decision on his appeal. You
threaten to kill the judge and he lets you go? Them good
ol' boys sure do stick together. (LA
Times, WLBT3.com, law.umkc.edu)

INTER-SPECIES
SEX ROMP ENDS BADLY
August
15, 2005 (ENUMCLAW, Washington)
In
a picture-perfect corner of rural King County, Sheriff's
investigators uncovered a dirty little mess: Men having
sex with animals at a small farm outside of Enumclaw.
The private gatherings became public when a 45-year-old Seattle man died
of peritonitis from a split colon after having sex with an Arabian stallion. "If
this pans out, it's the most egregious case that we've heard of," says
Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff's Office. "We don't
have deaths that result from this activity, nobody can remember when
anything like this has ever happened." (Seattle Times)

LAZY
BULGARS
August
12, 2005 (SOFIA, Bulgaria)
A
third of Bulgaria's MPs took off during a parliamentary
debate - on school truancy. A spot check found a third
of MPs who voted on the issue were not present, and had
registered their votes by giving their Parliamentary
passes to fellow MPs.
MP Assen Agov said the practice of absentee voting made a nonsense of
parliamentary debates. But his proposal to upgrade the vote identification
system to stop MPs voting for friends was postponed due to poor attendance.
(Ananova.com)

SHOWING
THEIR TRUE COLORS
August
14, 2005 (CRAWFORD, Texas)
The
Gold Star mothers supporting Cindy Sheehan in Crawford
are chanting "Bush lied! Soldiers died!" Counter-protesters
(the "pro-America crowd") respond by chanting "WE
DON’T CARE!" (dailykos.com)

IT'S
A BITCH COMING UP, BUT FAST TO GET DOWN...
August
14, 2005 (SYDNEY, Australia)
New
toilet facilities have been built near the top of 7,310
foot high Mount Kosciuszko, mainland Australia's tallest
mountain, including one stall with wheelchair access.
(Chicago Sun-Times)

WE
CALL IT 'RENDITION',
THE WORLD CALLS IT 'KIDNAPPING'
August
13, 2005 (ROME, Italy)
Italian
prosecutors again sought arrest warrants Wednesday for
six additional CIA operatives who they say took part
in the abduction two years ago of a radical Islamic cleric.
If granted, the prosecutors' request would bring to 19 the number of
CIA personnel formally charged with the kidnapping in February 2003 of
Osama Moustafa Hassan Nasr, better known as Abu Omar, which involved
transporting [him] from Milan to an Italian-U.S. air base at Aviano,
Italy, from there to another air base in Germany and finally to Cairo.
An Egyptian by birth, Abu Omar had been granted political asylum in Italy
and was given the opportunity of returning to Milan if he agreed to inform
for the Egyptian intelligence service. Abu Omar refused the offer and
was tortured by the Egyptians. According to his family and his Egyptian
attorney, the 42-year-old Muslim cleric remains in an Egyptian prison,
though he is not charged with a crime. (chicagotribune.com)
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